One year ago today, I nervously shared with the world my first blog post and told everyone the personal details of a very difficult time Mark and I had been going through. Some friends and family knew we were trying to start our family and had suffered a loss, but only a few knew every little detail of everything we had gone through up to that point. I had read many blogs from other women who were also going through infertility, and after some encouragement from Mark I finally decided to share my own.
The amount of love and support we received that day was amazing. So many people reached out to share their love, prayers and support, and some even shared that they were going through the same thing and no one even knew. Since that day we have shared everything that has gone on the past year, suffering two more losses, going through surgery, going through a failed IVF, hitting another year mark of trying to have a baby, and most recently changing doctors in hopes of a better outcome this time with IVF.
Over the past year, the love and support has not stopped since that one evening when I shared my first post. We have received SO many prayers, cards, messages, etc that have meant so much to us. We have grown stronger in our marriage during a time when so many couples fall apart, have realized who has really been there for us just to check in at random times or let us know they are thinking of us without prying or asking too many questions, and not just because they have just seen a new post we have shared, but because they truly care. We are still learning to offer grace when we are let down or disappointed by those we expected more out of, or those who sometimes don’t say the best or most encouraging things to us, and we have grown in our faith to be able to surrender control to God and understand that His timing will be perfect. We have gotten the opportunity to enjoy each other and do the things we want that may not be as easy once we do have a child. I told Mark at the beginning of this year if we did not have a baby soon I was going to have to start a farm or something because I needed something to raise and take care of (other than Nelson and Calvin). Well, we now have 10 animals. (I think Mark thought I was kidding and is now worried what will happen if we go another year without a baby).
There is still a huge hole in our hearts that we cannot wait to be filled, but it has made this journey so much more bearable with the random text or Facebook message offering someone’s prayers or words of encouragement, getting a card in the mail on a day that was really crappy and no one even knew it, and just knowing how many people there are out there that love us and pray for us, that will one day love our children as well!
Again, Thank You so much for the love and prayers, and we ask that you pray for us to have good news to share with you all soon!