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Our Stork Is Lost

Learning patience and grace on our journey to parenthood

August 16, 2017

Here we go again…

We are so ready to trade in these sufferings for the joy let me tell you! Last week was the one year mark of seeing a fertility specialist and honestly I hoped we would never make it here! A year ago my hope was that we would have our baby by now but that just hasn’t happened. After our failed IVF cycle in April, we decided to take a break for a few months and enjoy our summer. I definitely needed both a mental break, and a physical break from shots, ultrasounds, appointments, etc. We wanted to be able to relax and enjoy our summer and that is what we have done! Our plan was to start birth control in July for our next round of IVF, and you would think I would have learned by now to stop planning.

While waiting for my period to start in July, we found out I was pregnant. Deja vu from last December when we were planning to start our first IVF and ended up pregnant. I hate sharing bad news so I will just keep it short in that we once again suffered an early miscarriage. It felt different this time, almost expected at this point and I think we both just felt numb. I once again had labs drawn for the next several weeks until my HCG dropped and then we had an appointment with our doctor. I had also decided to schedule an appointment with a different fertility center to get a second opinion and I am so glad I did.

Our appointment with our current doctor went the same as it always does, all of my tests have come back normal, my tube isn’t an issue now, we obviously can get pregnant on our own so maybe we don’t need IVF. He said I could have a SHG which would allow him to look at the uterus again even though he said everything was fine when he was in for surgery. He said it was up to us whether we try on our own, do IUI again, or do another round of IVF. That’s about all we got out of him.

Two days later we had an appointment with the new clinic. The difference was unreal. I instantly felt like this doctor wanted to find out and “fix” whatever was going on ASAP, he took me to an ultrasound room right then and there to look at the uterus. We went over the last protocol I had been on for IVF and he couldn’t believe that is what the doctor had me on based on my labs showing how I should respond to the medications, etc. He was upfront and made no promises, but he gave us hope and that is what we need right now. His advice was to do IVF with Preimplantation Genetic Screening of the Embryos. This way we can check for any abnormal embryos that if transferred would lead to miscarriage. He will also have me on a different medication protocol that will hopefully result in more embryos.

So that is the next step in this journey, we will be doing IVF again in the near future. I don’t know if we will share exactly when this time, as last time was a bit stressful and I hated having to share it didn’t work, but please know that we will share either way when we feel ready, and please just continue to pray for us!

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  1. Tina says

    August 16, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    Praying for you guys .

    Reply
  2. Penny says

    August 17, 2017 at 6:12 am

    We are praying for you and Mark through this journey and hope it has the results you and your family have been so patiently waiting for. If you need some time away, plan a little to Fla! I have quest room with a king size bed and warm sunshine. Great therapy for your head! I love you and I’m sending many hugs & prayers your way! ?❤️

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Carpenter says

    August 17, 2017 at 9:55 am

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. This road we travel is definitely not an easy one. I am so glad that you have found HOPE once again, though. We had a similar experience when starting with a new fertility doc. It had been 3 years that we took a break and finally decided to start back up. Praying for God to give you wisdom and continued hope as you move forward. Here’s one of my favorite hope verses:

    “My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my HOPE is from Him.
    He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken.” – Psalm 62:5-6

    Reply
  4. Melissa says

    August 18, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    I am so so so sorry to hear of your loss. I can relate to the feelings of numbness that you described. I am so thankful that you found another doctor that has breathed new life and hope into your situation. Praying that this new protocol goes smoothly and you are holding your miracle baby soon!

    Reply
  5. Lindsay Tankersley says

    September 6, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    So glad you found a doctor that will work for you. I am an advocate for seeking 2nd opinions. And I dont blame you for not wanting to tell anyone. We did and it sucked having to tell people that we miscarried.
    Good luck, girl!! Can’t wait to hear exciting results!

    Reply

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